Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Paul

I have thought about my brother many times since he passed in October 2008. Many times is probably an understatement. It is interesting how the new "normal" comes to be after you lose someone. Things seem to evolve in different ways. The void is clearly still there but like the changing seasons.....things keep growing and changing.

I miss my brother most when I am with my parents. I miss being able to reach out and talk to him about what's going on with my parents lives. I am still trying to get a handle on what an only child feels like now. Oh I think I am understanding the stress. No problem there. Sometimes the loss of my brother feels like my left arm is gone but somehow its still there.  That probably doesn't make much sense I know.

I see how his friends - who I thought were pretty good guys - simply not call or check-in on my mother anymore. They seemed so attentive at first but now.....the silence from them disturbs even her. Maybe it's the difference between Mars and Venus.......women are a bit more sensitive in that way. Maybe it is simply life evolving and people moving on from a sad experience.

Anyway, my two cents on a hot and humid evening. Summer is here, the Reds are struggling, time to take a vacation, mow the lawn, walk the dog........life slowly moves on in the new normal.

1 comment:

CJ said...

My deepest condolences on the loss of your brother in 2008. It seems odd sometimes how life continues to move forward no matter what. It sounds like you keep his memory very much alive and that you always will. I'm sure he is by your side and happy to have you as a sister.