Thursday, January 17, 2008

A dog. A dining room table...

And maybe a few pairs of shoes.

But that's it. The sum of everything left from my 'first' commitment/non-sanctioned civil union/marriage.

Yes, it ended 4+ years ago. But when you're working with one nonprofit income, it takes a while to replace 12 years of life's 'stuff' you've been slowly dumping in the Goodwill bin. Silverware. Bedding. Towels. All gone.

Today I got rid of what it now occurs to me maybe should have been the first piece to go.

Not the muttlet -- no way.

Not the table. As we know from last week's post, I become deeply attached to furniture once it's acquired, and sometimes even before. And in the last four years many good conversations, bottles of wine, meals and friendships have cleansed the table of its bad karma.

The ring.

The symbol of whatever the hell I thought I was doing for 12 years.

Is finally gone.

It was yellow gold. Did I ever actually wear yellow gold jewelry? Did I request yellow gold for the ring because I knew that way I'd never really wear it all the time? And a round cut diamond -- decent size, crappy quality. Kind of like that 12 year relationship it symbolized.

Now that the final shard of that relationship has been disposed of, I'm kind of wondering what tells us it's finally time to get rid of something? Does selling it do any more to devalue its relevance in my life than letting it roll around in a drawer for years?

It took me about two years into this cleansing ritual to realize what I was doing. But once the silverware was replaced during last month's great post-holiday-clean-out, it dawned on me how little was left.

And now, there's even less.
Forward motion.
A good thing.

3 comments:

Hahn at Home said...

Oh, girl, I lived that ritual. The ring came out of the jewelery box after the break in. There is now, 2 years later, not one piece of anything from that partnership except the desk this monitor sits on. And, that was my selection, my piece of furniture. Cost a fortune I didn't have, but it's all worth it.

Long moved on, baby.

Thanks for your vote too! You da' bomb(s).

thewishfulwriter said...

this post reminded me of an "ex-burning" ritual I did with one of my friends. We didn't actually burn Julie's ex, but all of her photos, letters, etc. It was how she wanted to let go. But she did hold on to her ring for a while. I do think that's a harder piece to let go. Eventually, she had the gold melted and created a coin from it - to symbolize the "change" in her and her life. moving on isn't easy - congrats to you for taking the final step!

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