My life lately has been all about the motion of moving forward.
Keep moving....don't stop....can't stop....keep breathing....keep eating......try to sleep well.....eyes straight ahead.....move along little doggy.....
It is the approach that I have taken in my personal life. I don't have time to look back and reflect nor do I have the time to waste energy on things that are simply going nowhere. I am well aware of the type of people I need in my life and I want someone to be there full time to slow me down, assist with my breathing while I keep moving forward in this marathon that I am running. As I have said before, I am not a runner by nature so a good supporting cast is hugely important to my life. It takes commitment to run a marathon and a relationship is a marathon not a sprint.
My father keeps my eyes looking forward. I have had to take control of all aspects of his life to ensure that things keep moving forward in his life. He is battling with his dementia meds at the moment and the doctors are switching out medicinal recipes to see what the best fit is for him. Once that is in check, he can go back to the nursing home. It's been about four weeks of "balancing" and I am eager for him to regain some normalcy to his life. The nursing home is the new normal and it is one that will support him until his final days on this earth. His struggle becomes my struggle. I have spent the last four weeks going through his house in clean up mode. Discarding years (and I mean years) of invoices and tax documents....cleaning out closets and making sense of his garage that contains a lifetime of plumbing tools. With a little help from some knowledgeable friends who know a few more things about tools, my garage sale was a success this past weekend. It was picked clean of things that any handy man or contractor would value. I had a twinge of sadness in regards to the sale - a lifetime of work all summed up in boxes laying out on sawhorses to be picked through by those who didn't know how hard my Dad worked over the years. "It has to be done" I told myself and I moved on from those feelings. The next leg in the race - the house will be put on the market.
Keep moving....don't stop....can't stop....keep breathing....one step in front of the other.....
I keep pressing forward. Summer is right around the corner. I am going out with friends and making new friends. I am making plans for a nice "breakdown" vacation away at the end of Summer so I can just "be". This is what my life is about these days. I am caught up in each moment that comes my way and working with that moment when it arises. Don't get me wrong.....it has not been all gloomy moments. Some moments have been surprisingly sweet and fun and those are the moments that bring me back to the best part of myself and recharge me as I move forward.
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Birthdays
Yesterday, I turned forty seven years old. I took the day off from work to take care of me. I had a couple doctors appointments to ensure I am healthy enough to see many many more birthdays.
Recently I have grown more aware of the importance of living the fullest life possible. Mainly it is because I am dealing with an aging parent who is growing weaker and will be ready for full time care in the next year or two. Death is inevitable for those who age and I wonder if it is easier to accept death at 80 than it is now?
The thought of dying and losing the life I have now is a sad one. I have seen friends face and fight cancer - fighting for the right to continue to live a life they do not want to lose. It may be a thought we all have at some point I guess.
So is it just a wearing down of the bodies and faculties that cause seniors to have an inner peace and surrender to death? Or is it simply a willingness to accept that their life has run its fullest course?
So I counteract all of these thoughts with regular check ups to make sure everything is running like clock work and according to my doctors everything looks good! Ok....well....I did get some grief about my weight. It is my only health flaw and struggle at the moment so I promised to do better! I mean....life isn't always easy but we have to do what we must to keep muddling through despite it all.
Today.....I will revisit WW and see if I can drop as much weight as Jennifer Hudson. I mean.....she makes it look easy so it will be easy.....right? Stay tuned........
Recently I have grown more aware of the importance of living the fullest life possible. Mainly it is because I am dealing with an aging parent who is growing weaker and will be ready for full time care in the next year or two. Death is inevitable for those who age and I wonder if it is easier to accept death at 80 than it is now?
The thought of dying and losing the life I have now is a sad one. I have seen friends face and fight cancer - fighting for the right to continue to live a life they do not want to lose. It may be a thought we all have at some point I guess.
So is it just a wearing down of the bodies and faculties that cause seniors to have an inner peace and surrender to death? Or is it simply a willingness to accept that their life has run its fullest course?
So I counteract all of these thoughts with regular check ups to make sure everything is running like clock work and according to my doctors everything looks good! Ok....well....I did get some grief about my weight. It is my only health flaw and struggle at the moment so I promised to do better! I mean....life isn't always easy but we have to do what we must to keep muddling through despite it all.
Today.....I will revisit WW and see if I can drop as much weight as Jennifer Hudson. I mean.....she makes it look easy so it will be easy.....right? Stay tuned........
Thursday, April 07, 2011
Shhhhhh
If I am really really quiet folks won't see me creep into my blog and post something after a year!
The last time I posted I spoke about my new puppy. If you want to know what has had me completely distracted....it is him. Kip is my 14 month old Chesapeake Bay Retriever.
He is a "buffalo in a china shop" most days. Thankfully he has left most of his chewing days behind him. Most of my furniture is in tact since he liked to chew on me.... a lot! Many nights I cried frustrated tears because of his incessant need to chew on my arms and feet. Lots of chew marks let me tell ya!
Kip is exactly as his breed is described. He has been a faithful companion who bores easily. I had high hopes that I would be able to train him to make me the perfect Bloody Mary on the weekends but alas.....my training techniques were a disappointment. He has a throaty bark that will scare the bejeezus out of unsuspecting strangers who approach the house. I haven't had anybody come after me to see where his loyalties lie, but I am confident that he would use those big teeth of his and sink them deep into someone's skin if they harmed his "mama".
He loves his little pal Sadie. Who is Sadie? Sadie is Lyn's little companion. She can be full of fire and fury when she wants to be. Oh.....and Lyn hasn't been spared a little bite now and then. I think there is an amusing story about her nose being bitten by the Little Miss. Well......the story was amusing to me anyway. :)
That is my life for the last year. It is now high time that I begin my blogging again for anyone who is willing to read it. Perhaps a little facelift on the site is in order as well. Hmmmm.....maybe.
The last time I posted I spoke about my new puppy. If you want to know what has had me completely distracted....it is him. Kip is my 14 month old Chesapeake Bay Retriever.
He is a "buffalo in a china shop" most days. Thankfully he has left most of his chewing days behind him. Most of my furniture is in tact since he liked to chew on me.... a lot! Many nights I cried frustrated tears because of his incessant need to chew on my arms and feet. Lots of chew marks let me tell ya!
Kip is exactly as his breed is described. He has been a faithful companion who bores easily. I had high hopes that I would be able to train him to make me the perfect Bloody Mary on the weekends but alas.....my training techniques were a disappointment. He has a throaty bark that will scare the bejeezus out of unsuspecting strangers who approach the house. I haven't had anybody come after me to see where his loyalties lie, but I am confident that he would use those big teeth of his and sink them deep into someone's skin if they harmed his "mama".
He loves his little pal Sadie. Who is Sadie? Sadie is Lyn's little companion. She can be full of fire and fury when she wants to be. Oh.....and Lyn hasn't been spared a little bite now and then. I think there is an amusing story about her nose being bitten by the Little Miss. Well......the story was amusing to me anyway. :)
That is my life for the last year. It is now high time that I begin my blogging again for anyone who is willing to read it. Perhaps a little facelift on the site is in order as well. Hmmmm.....maybe.
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