Monday, March 18, 2013


The last forty five days have been oddly problematic. My father's health continued to take a downward turn aggravated by the general anesthesia he received for prostate surgery. It appears that a big surgery can really do a number on older folks who have a start of dementia. I had to make the decision to place him in a nursing facility. This wasn't an easy decision mind you, but it was one based on the reality of the times. My father simply could not live alone and be in charge of his own well-being any longer. He believed that he could still do the things he always could do without any second thoughts about the ramifications of his actions. This is a dangerous mindset and it would only lead to more worry and "what ifs".

He has had some ups and downs upon entering the nursing home. He has fallen a couple times during his "free spirit" periods and has shown his confused and agitated side to the nurses more than once. The surgery has taken him to a new baseline with his dementia and I notice it every evening I stop by to see him. He talks about his car.....that he doesn't have.....or worries about paying his property tax that I have already paid for him more than once since he has been at the home. However.....despite all of that....he has been eating three square meals and chugs down every chocolate milkshake I bring him on my nightly visits.

Tonight....I got a good progress report from the nurses. He was well behaved ALL day. Victory! It is always good when you are told that he was "best in class". is like raising a child. The progress reports.....good or bad.....are very enlightening and it tells me that he is starting to settle in to his new home.

He does not know that his home will be put up for sale in the Spring. I will tell him about that when I get to that point in time. I'd rather not have his progress disturbed or interrupted. Settling down is a good thing. Uproars....not so much. I like the congenial, joking Dad instead of the agitated, nasty guy who appears from time to time.

I have concluded that there are still life lessons that I am meant to learn. It is true that we never stop learning and I know that this too will teach me things that I will someday use later in my life. If someone brings me a milkshake every day when I am 80, I will be a happy girl.

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